Right now, I’m just happy to be writing. I’m just happy to be… here.

I’m enjoying a walk around town. I’m appreciating all the sights and sounds. It’s been a rough month. That’s really an understatement because not only was my September taken away but there was a chance “I” could’ve been taken away. This week has been especially sobering. Sometimes, you just go through the motions of life without appreciating everything you have whether it’s people, experiences, rewards, or even the present. I definitely have a much bigger appreciation of life now and I am so happy to be here after that ER scare last Tuesday. To those that have stuck with me and gave me support throughout this month, I love you more than ever. Words really aren’t enough to describe how grateful I am. I just ask all of you to not take life for granted because everything could be gone in just a moment. Here’s to life. ❤️❤️❤️

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I think that pretty much explains where my attitude is at.

Today was great because I didn’t have to go to a clinic or a hospital. I do have to go back Tuesday because of more tests for my blood and my heart. I can’t say I’m looking forward to this. I also now have to keep track of my blood pressure every day for the time being.

But I was glad to be not there today. I took a walk around town and, like I mentioned in that Instagram post, I’m appreciating all my surroundings. I was just fine relaxing with the dog and watching the WNBA Finals.

Good friend Darrel called me during the game, too, and it was so great to hear from him. He’s definitely one of the great people in my life. He was the first one to call me after my accident and I very much appreciated his encouragement.

I was reminded by the good people on social media (yes, there are good people) that they are rooting for me to get better. It’s really what I need whenever I feel like everything feels bleak. And trust me; it can get really tough on your psyche when the challenges of anything regular seem to overwhelm me.

This weekend, I have friends to chill with. They’ll give me a good laugh and what I need the most right now is company and laughter. Just more steps to get closer to being me.

Let it flow. That’s all I should do. Everything will fall into place.

I appreciate you all.

R2

I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared. Hell, yeah, I’m scared. Not only am I replaying the car accidents in my head but I’m also remembering yesterday very vividly.

I left the ER around 4:00 in the afternoon; I had gone to the clinic around 10:30 AM for a routine physical therapy. So it was an exhausting day. When I drove towards a pharmacy and then home, I had this eerie calm feeling. Everything could have been all done yesterday.

I didn’t want to change anything on Tuesday. I had planned to hang out with my boys, Nick and Beerman, that night. Nick picked me up as planned. I told him what happened and the trip seemed quicker because I basically talked his ear off about going to the ER.

I needed the laughs hanging out with those guys; I’ve had a very rough day. Of course, the guys broke into this song. “YOU HAD A BAD DAY!”

(VIDEO CREDIT: Warner Bros. Records. )

It seemed all peachy going back home until we were stuck in traffic. I immediately got uncomfortable and we saw why everyone stopped: there was a car on fire. I immediately looked away.

It’s just great. It’s the second car accident I witnessed in three days (there was one on Sunday). We were able to get away from the traffic about 15 minutes later as police let us get into one of the exit lanes that led back to the freeway.

I talked to a longtime friend for a few hours and she helped me do some breathing exercises. It gave me great relief after such a stressful day. But of course, it was on to the next day as I went back to the clinic a few hours ago to get a follow-up on what happened to me.

I’m taking medication now for blood pressure. I did my physical therapy and found out that my blood pressure is still high but it’s out of dangerous levels for now.

What will I do? I will continue to recover mentally and physically. Just take it easy. Just let it flow. Just take it one day at a time. And I just won’t worry about anything else. Can’t do much when my health is in an awful place.

I also need to find myself because it’s obvious I’m not the same person the last three weeks. I don’t watch a lot of basketball footage. I’m not exercising as much (which is SERIOUSLY MANDATORY now). I’m not singing (I think everyone knows that I do). I’m not sending random pop song lyrics whether it’s tweets or texts. All the internet stuff that I do is on hold because, again, health over everything and I don’t want to feel like I’m on some sort of deadline or whatever. The only writing I’ll be doing is this blog about my health because this is part of my healing process. I’m sure people understand that. And if they don’t then they can suck it.

But I do appreciate everyone’s support. I appreciate everyone checking in. All of that goes a long way towards my recovery back to my normal. Thank you so much for not making me feel so alone.

Until then, I just want to get to the next day.

R2

I figure I should lighten things up a bit because I had a scare earlier today.

Scene: 2000. At home and was about to leave with Beerman when the phone rang.

IDIOT: “Rey! Quick! It’s an emergency!”
ME: “What? What happened?” (I thought something happened with his kid.)
IDIOT: “It’s a Virtua Fighter emergency!”
ME: “Wait. What?!”
IDIOT: “I’m going to go get my PlayStation 2 back from the pawn shop and then go buy Virtua Fighter 4 after!”
ME: “No!”

I hung up. That was an emergency?!

Yeah. Okay.

Back to the present.

Scene: September 26, 2017. 10:40 AM. Was getting my usual physical therapy. I did a routine blood pressure check. I knew I wasn’t feeling good and I was feeling VERY tense.

NURSE: “160 over 101. Oh, my God. You can’t leave.”
ME: “What?”
NURSE: “We’re gonna have you stay here and see if it lowers. If it’s still high, we’re going to have to send you to the ER.”

I was sent to the couch and they put my feet up on the table. It was tough to relax when they basically tell you you have very dangerous blood pressure levels. I did my best to chill for an hour but quite frankly, it was tough.

An hour later…

NURSE: “166 over 104. You’re going to the ER. You’re at risk for a heart attack.”

THAT was an emergency. This isn’t over some stupid video game; I could suddenly die.

Level 2 hypertension. A few days after the accident, I was around 140 over 90, which was already high.

I have been documenting for the last three weeks about how my tense feelings have been up and down. And I guess it’s reached a peak today. I went to the ER and after another hour, the nurses there took my blood. It was down to 157 over 90 but that’s still pretty damn high. But at least, I was out of Level 2 hypertension.

I also did an EKG (heart) test, a nurse drew my blood (needles are fun), and was prescribed some high blood pressure medication. I guess for now, I’m out of the woods.

I just haven’t reacted well to stress. I’ll get back to my normal activity (as normal as it can get) but it was definitely a scare. And I wanted to finish and put up some hoop articles today (last week), too.

Right now, though, there are a lot more important things than that.

Life. Please cherish it.

Love you all.

R2

One day at a time.

I tried running because I had that flashback of being an athlete. It hurts. It hurts so much. My knees. My back. I didn’t run for very long and went back to the elliptical. But it’s so frustrating.

For most of my life, I always thought, “Hey, if I get chased by somebody who thinks I owe them money, I can outrun them no problem!” Yeah, I probably can’t outrun a turtle at this point.

I had mentioned on my Facebook account that my high school reunion was coming up. I also mentioned that I probably won’t dance because everything hurts.

I’m not afraid to admit this but I was watching an old clip of British comedienne Josie Lawrence doing a parody video of Kylie Minogue. If you must watch, here it is:

(VIDEO CREDIT: SormaNo3.)

I thought to myself, “Hey! Maybe I can still do a running man!” IT HURT. Yeah. I can’t even dance.

Anyway, my meditation didn’t go very well. I was distracted and was tense. I had so many different thoughts in my head. What I’m missing. How I’m left behind. How some people just didn’t care about my plight. Flashbacks of my close calls. Death. Yeah. It wasn’t ideal.

I was watching my usual Monday Night Raw when old friend, Mel, messaged me that he was eating at a diner two blocks away from where I lived. I hesitated about driving even if it was just a straight line down but I did it, anyway, because how often was I going to see Mel and other (new) friends?

I made the drive, had some good talks, and took this pic. I had a rare smile:

Smark life. This is basic thugonomics.

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It was much needed after a bunch of negative thoughts. I wish I had that company more. I hope I can see them again as soon as I’m able to be me and travel.

Breathe in. Breathe out. I don’t even know what’s normal me anymore. I guess I’ll find out a few weeks from now.

Man. Today was REALLY up and down.

I had a good mental therapy session earlier in the morning. I already knew it was going to be a tough go on Twitter because of that creature that’s supposedly running this country got itself involved with the sports world.

A lot of people kneeled and a lot of people locked hands in solidarity. Some people can say what they want. Some people would probably want more from others. But I basically thought that a statement was made from most and I think it’s only going to get stronger.

The WNBA Finals started today. The WNBA has been doing their statement before everyone (except for Colin Kaepernick, who started it all). And they sure made theirs. I tweeted it out.

My mentions killed me. And a few of that creature’s supporters surely went after that. Of course, it got to me because my gosh. They just don’t get it. It was a bit overwhelming. It was definitely one of my most retweeted and liked tweets, too.

I had planned to take a drive to the mall. But it was delayed because my nephew and nieces showed up. My three-year-old niece, Eden, was being her very charming self.

EDEN: “You want some chips?”
ME: “Okay.”

The canister only had one chip left.

ME: “There’s only one left.”
EDEN: “Never mind. It’s mine.”

She’s such a character.

So after they left, I took the drive to the mall. That drive was fine even though I was sweating. Then I doubled back and went to get some groceries. On the way to the grocery store, a car came out of the plaza, made his right turn, and pretty much cut me off. I don’t really have road rage, per se, but this one just came out.

“DON’T DO IT AGAIN, YOU JERKWEED!”

I got a finger for my troubles. Then I just cackled to myself because when the hell did I ever use “jerkweed”? A minute later, Nickelback played on my iPod. I knew I was cursed.

Kidding. I have nothing against Nickelback even though it’s cool to hate on them. I mean, come on. Who willingly has Nickelback on their music device?

Then the next situation was really bad.

Across the street from the store was a block away where I had my accident nearly three weeks ago. Well, there was a huge accident on the other side. A huge crowd was around it and it stopped traffic. The back of the car was smashed and a motorcycle was down (I couldn’t tell if it was totaled). But there were about six or seven police cars in the scene. It was really bad.

And it felt like my heart stopped. I quickly parked and stopped to breathe. This was not what I wanted to see on my first day of a leisure drive. I probably took about ten minutes before I went in to get my groceries.

I came home and immediately did my meditation. It helped for a bit.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I still feel tense. I wish I could end this entry with jerkweed or something Nickelback-related. But right now, I’m having yet another flashback. Ugh. This can’t keep going.