A few hours after Mom and I had that little tiff, I had a moment with her and I broke down. Mom was so confused on why I bawled. Then she told me what I already knew: she was just concerned about me.
I’ll say that it was a good cry. And afterwards, I was distracted for most of the day as my adorable nephew and nieces caused chaos as only they could.
I’m also overwhelmed by the fact that some people take their time to encourage me to get through this. They have no idea how much this means to me.
It encouraged me enough to not make Saturday a loss. I went back to schedule and did my arms exercises (bicep curls) and the elliptical. I’m looking into doing some yoga to help heal my back. While I am trying to get back into the swing of things, I also can’t be reckless with it. I can’t do any lifting or exercises that would compromise my back.
I’m also nursing a bad left knee and a bad right tricep. But I say that still doesn’t compare to my mental makeup.
After the family left, I felt tense again. Later on today, my friend is picking me up so we can hang out. This will be another test for me because I’m pretty afraid to be on the road. But those two friends know what I’m going through and they’ve been nothing but supportive.
The goal right now is to just get back to my normal. I want to feel relaxed. I want my heart to beat normally again. I want to be able to manage my physical pains (it would be great if I can feel 100 percent again but I’m not sure if that will ever happen). And I want to be able to be on the road, whether as a driver or a passenger, without being terrified.
One step at a time.