One day at a time.
I tried running because I had that flashback of being an athlete. It hurts. It hurts so much. My knees. My back. I didn’t run for very long and went back to the elliptical. But it’s so frustrating.
For most of my life, I always thought, “Hey, if I get chased by somebody who thinks I owe them money, I can outrun them no problem!” Yeah, I probably can’t outrun a turtle at this point.
I had mentioned on my Facebook account that my high school reunion was coming up. I also mentioned that I probably won’t dance because everything hurts.
I’m not afraid to admit this but I was watching an old clip of British comedienne Josie Lawrence doing a parody video of Kylie Minogue. If you must watch, here it is:
(VIDEO CREDIT: SormaNo3.)
I thought to myself, “Hey! Maybe I can still do a running man!” IT HURT. Yeah. I can’t even dance.
Anyway, my meditation didn’t go very well. I was distracted and was tense. I had so many different thoughts in my head. What I’m missing. How I’m left behind. How some people just didn’t care about my plight. Flashbacks of my close calls. Death. Yeah. It wasn’t ideal.
I was watching my usual Monday Night Raw when old friend, Mel, messaged me that he was eating at a diner two blocks away from where I lived. I hesitated about driving even if it was just a straight line down but I did it, anyway, because how often was I going to see Mel and other (new) friends?
I made the drive, had some good talks, and took this pic. I had a rare smile:
It was much needed after a bunch of negative thoughts. I wish I had that company more. I hope I can see them again as soon as I’m able to be me and travel.
Breathe in. Breathe out. I don’t even know what’s normal me anymore. I guess I’ll find out a few weeks from now.