I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared. Hell, yeah, I’m scared. Not only am I replaying the car accidents in my head but I’m also remembering yesterday very vividly.
I left the ER around 4:00 in the afternoon; I had gone to the clinic around 10:30 AM for a routine physical therapy. So it was an exhausting day. When I drove towards a pharmacy and then home, I had this eerie calm feeling. Everything could have been all done yesterday.
I didn’t want to change anything on Tuesday. I had planned to hang out with my boys, Nick and Beerman, that night. Nick picked me up as planned. I told him what happened and the trip seemed quicker because I basically talked his ear off about going to the ER.
I needed the laughs hanging out with those guys; I’ve had a very rough day. Of course, the guys broke into this song. “YOU HAD A BAD DAY!”
(VIDEO CREDIT: Warner Bros. Records. )
It seemed all peachy going back home until we were stuck in traffic. I immediately got uncomfortable and we saw why everyone stopped: there was a car on fire. I immediately looked away.
It’s just great. It’s the second car accident I witnessed in three days (there was one on Sunday). We were able to get away from the traffic about 15 minutes later as police let us get into one of the exit lanes that led back to the freeway.
I talked to a longtime friend for a few hours and she helped me do some breathing exercises. It gave me great relief after such a stressful day. But of course, it was on to the next day as I went back to the clinic a few hours ago to get a follow-up on what happened to me.
I’m taking medication now for blood pressure. I did my physical therapy and found out that my blood pressure is still high but it’s out of dangerous levels for now.
What will I do? I will continue to recover mentally and physically. Just take it easy. Just let it flow. Just take it one day at a time. And I just won’t worry about anything else. Can’t do much when my health is in an awful place.
I also need to find myself because it’s obvious I’m not the same person the last three weeks. I don’t watch a lot of basketball footage. I’m not exercising as much (which is SERIOUSLY MANDATORY now). I’m not singing (I think everyone knows that I do). I’m not sending random pop song lyrics whether it’s tweets or texts. All the internet stuff that I do is on hold because, again, health over everything and I don’t want to feel like I’m on some sort of deadline or whatever. The only writing I’ll be doing is this blog about my health because this is part of my healing process. I’m sure people understand that. And if they don’t then they can suck it.
But I do appreciate everyone’s support. I appreciate everyone checking in. All of that goes a long way towards my recovery back to my normal. Thank you so much for not making me feel so alone.
Until then, I just want to get to the next day.