(I have a loooong way to go.)
How am I doing?
Physically, I feel good. MAYBE the best I’ve felt in years. I don’t want to say the best I’ve felt in a decade just yet; I don’t feel AND look like my 29 or 30-year-old self yet.
I know I’m doing something right when my Pops said that I looked a little smaller… and no punchline came after that.
But really, I’ve gotten obsessed over going to the gym. I normally don’t like to describe myself as obsessed but I think that’s where I am about this. Lately, I just look forward to GOING to the gym. On Super Bowl Sunday, I purposely went in the morning (I normally go at around 10-11 PM) so that I could catch the Puppy Bowl at noon and watch humans hit each other at 3:30 PM. After I caught the Super Bowl with friends, my instinct was to pack my stuff and go to the gym at around 10:30 PM.
I actually had packed my stuff before I caught myself and realized I had gone earlier in the day. There is nothing wrong with doing two-a-days but I shouldn’t stress my body that much.
So how obsessed am I? Well, tonight will be my 30th day in a row of going to the gym.
(Yup. I’ve gone to the gym 29 straight days.)
Like I said, my initial goal was to make it three straight days before it evolved into something bigger.
I started to post about daily gym check-ins at both Twitter and Facebook. I do this for a couple of reasons.
1) To hold myself accountable. And others can hold me accountable, too. So if I skip a day, people can remind me about it. But seriously, I SHOULD take a day off at some point.
2) To show people that I am serious. I get it. I’m NOT seen as a serious person. But I was pretty damn serious last fall; I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. But I needed to get serious about my health. And the gym is part of my recovery as well as my therapy. Going to a clinic four or five times a week SUCKED. That was my entire life for the last four months of 2017.
And if people are inspired by my going to the gym? Awesome. I think that would be great. But it’s ultimately their choice to go. I made this MY choice. And I felt I had no choice BUT to go because it’s not like I was exactly the embodiment of healthy before the car accident. Life will be a lot easier for me if I started going to the gym, especially as I approach age 40 (I turn that age on November).
I’ll probably stop posting the gym check-ins soon (definitely soon on FB). I think I’ve proven that I was serious about going to the gym every day. And I hope that it becomes a lifestyle change for me. I’m still scared that I could skip a day and then end up leaving it off my routine entirely.
As far as the rest of life? I know I’m going to continue on my quest to find myself. I’m STILL hoping to go to NBA All-Star Weekend but, at the very least, I can hang out with old friends on the outskirts if I can’t get into the building to cover the weekend. I’ve become very used to covering the South Bay Lakers in the G-League. They’ve treated me very well and I loved covering them but we all know I want to go back to cover the Los Angeles Lakers and the rest of the NBA.
I’m also planning a format change at TNLP soon (basically, bring it back to what brought TNLP to the dance). I still love to write. I still love to cover the wacky happenings that are happening in the NBA. Heck, I thought it was going to be my last season doing it but, honestly, I’m not sure I want to stop. And I also plan to bring back my podcast very soon. I’ve talked about bringing it back for months now but I wanted to be completely healthy in all facets. At the latest, I’ll bring it back right after the all-star break.
Oh, yeah. Driving on the freeway still sucks. It’ll probably suck for me forever. Recently, I was pressed to pick up my sister and brother-in-law at LAX. When I got there, my brother-in-law saw me hyperventilating and asked me if I wanted him to take over the driving. But I said no for two reasons. 1) They were jetlagged. 2) I needed to do this for myself.
We got back just fine. But I went to my room quickly and just sat there for maybe 10 minutes to gain my bearings back. This will be a fight for a long time.
But that’s what’s important. I’m going to keep fighting. And I’ll probably fight forever. I’m not sure if I’m fine with that. But that’s life, right? You have to fight for everything you want.
And what I want right now is good health both physically and mentally.
To those that have been in my corner, thanks so much. Y’all know I love you.